There are some leaders/managers who see apologizing as a weakness. Apologizing, to them, is a way that makes them lose face.
Most managers/leaders, however, recognize the need to apologize. They understand that in apologizing for their errors, that they actually build their credibility. I think we all know people, including bosses who never apologize. Those people lose our respect as we continually see them deny responsiblity and often blame others when things go wrong.
I think that apologies are always important in all relationships at work and at home. However, it does often happen that there are times when people apologize for things they don't need to. There are also people who "over" apologize. It seems that they are always saying sorry, even when it is completely unnecessary. I know that I am one of those people who seems to apologize too much. There's nothing like being called on it when you're in the middle of an apology. And while they are right it's sure hard to stop mid-stride.
It is important for those of us who do apologize too much, to acknowledge that the very act of giving an unneeded apology can often actually be insulting. I think that knowing that has helped me to recognize when I am apologizing too much.
A friend recently directed me to the site of Scott Ginsberg and his post:
37 Things You Should Never Apologize For (And Why)
1. Never apologize for acting on your instincts. Listening to your body – then taking action on what you hear – is the hallmark of heroic people.
2. Never apologize for all the tears you’ve cried. Crying cleanses the soul. Shoot for once a month. Even if it's just a brief mist at a tender moment in a sad movie.
3. Never apologize for anything in your portfolio. If you feel the need to do so, it probably doesn’t belong in your portfolio in the first place.
4. Never apologize for asking for what you need. The answer to every question you DON’T ask is always no.
5. Never apologize for asking questions. When you stop asking questions, you don’t just run out of answers – you run out of hope.
6. Never apologize for asserting yourself. The word “assert” comes from the Latin asserere, which means, “to claim, maintain or affirm.” And that’s exactly what you’re entitled to: Your opinion. Your belief. Your say. Let nobody take it away from you.
7. Never apologize for being a health nut. Next time someone says, “What are you, on a diet or something?” look them straight in the eye and say, “Yeah – you got a problem with that?” Then, when they back down, you go right back to eating your tofu.
8. Never apologize for being a newbie. Everyone great chess master was once a beginner.
9. Never apologize for being early for an appointment. In the history of Corporate America, no employee has ever been fired for consistently arriving ten minutes early to every meeting.
10. Never apologize for being funny. The world is too damn serious. We need you. Seriously.
11. Never apologize for being human. Once you do, you’re no longer human – you’re a cyborg.
12. Never apologize for being passionate. Unless you’re passionate about stabbing strangers with broken Coke bottles.
13. Never apologize for being smart. That’s the ONE thing the government, the media (and every other entity that’s trying to control you) is terrified of: Smart people who take action. Be one of those people.
14. Never apologize for being the age that you are. It’s just a number. “A chicken ain’t nothing but a bird,” as my Grandpa likes to say.
15. Never apologize for breaking a rule that isn’t really a rule. Be proud of yourself for being a rule breaker. Then go break another one.
16. Never apologize for calling bullshit on someone. Especially when nobody else is the room is going to do it and this person REALLY needs to be taken to task.
17. Never apologize for demanding respect. If you’ve demonstrated that you deserve respect by giving it to others first, you’re good to go.
18. Never apologize for disagreeing. Especially if you do so respectfully. On the other hand, if you’re disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing, or because of your pathological need to be right, that’s a different story.
19. Never apologize for expressing yourself. That’s all “leadership” is: The full, free expression of your truth. Don’t say you’re sorry for that.
20. Never apologize for falling in love. Your heart’s calling the shots.
21. Never apologize for falling OUT of love. Your heart’s still calling the shots – even when you throw up an air ball.
22. Never apologize for getting something off your chest. That which you suppress will find a home in your body. And then it will trash the place.
23. Never apologize for giving it your best shot. As my Grandpa also reminds me, “You do the best you can with as many as you can.”
24. Never apologize for growing up privileged. As long as you scrap the entitlement attitude, remain grateful for everything you’ve ever been given and respect the life situation of those who are less fortunate, it’s all good.
25. Never apologize for having an overabundance of love in your life. Instead, circulate what you’ve got. Pay it forward. Share it. People need it. Especially St. Louis Rams fans. God we suck.
26. Never apologize for lack of experience. Instead, share your Learning Plan; demonstrate your dedication to lifelong learning and practice becoming the world’s expert at learning from your experiences.
27. Never apologize for lack of information. Ignorance is acceptable. Staying ignorant, however, is stupid.
28. Never apologize for liking stupid movies. Movie snobs annoy me. Some of my favorite movies are among the most ridiculous films ever made. So I love Road House. Sue me.
29. Never apologize for living your truth. Few things in the world are more important.
30. Never apologize for looking out for yourself. Self-preservation is a primary driver of human behavior. It’s how we’re wired.
31. Never apologize for loving yourself. If you do, you probably don’t love yourself as much as you thought.
32. Never apologize for making a decision from the heart. Remember: It’s not thee truth – it’s YOUR truth.
33. Never apologize for needing alone time. Solitude is soil. Solitude is medicine. And if you don’t get your fix every day, your life will suffer.
34. Never apologize for needing to use the bathroom. Yesterday a girl in my yoga class walked out of the room and actually said to the teacher, “I have to pee, I’m SO sorry.” Unbelievable.
35. Never apologize for not being there when someone called. You have a life, too. People can’t expect you to wait eagerly by the phone all hours of the day.
36. Never apologize for not embracing someone else’s agenda. Especially if that agenda robs you of your true talent.
37. Never apologize for occasional absentmindedness. Everyone’s brain farts.There is a second part to this post. Watch for it. I'd also recommend checking his site. Hello, my name is Blog! The Brain of Scott Ginsberg.
What do you refuse to apologize for?
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That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
I've also posted this on my Life in Balance page.