Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Living in the Moment

Living in the moment.

What is really in our control?

It's not uncommon for any of us to say that someone else makes us mad, pushes our buttons, or that it's their fault we did/responded in such a way.

But, if we really admit it, we have all of the control. We choose how we respond. We can't control much in our lives, but we can control ourselves and our responses.

It's a tough reality to face. It's so much easier if other people 'make' us do things, feel things, respond to things, etc. We don't have to own our responses or choices if we can blame someone else, or justify based on an excuse that it is beyond our control.

When I participated in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People workshop, based on Stephen R. Covey's book of the same name a number of years ago, I was reminded of this very important truth.

Since I am a work in progress, I seem to have to be reminded of this truth frequently. ...

In The 7 Habits, Stephen R. Covey reminds of our most human element, our freedom to choose. Between the event and our response we have that moment, that pause button that allows us to choose our response. We can use our self awareness, imagination, conscience, and independent will to help us choose that response.

So what does this have to do with living in the moment? Well, when we choose to live in the moment, we choose to let go of the other junk: the past, the negativity of others, our desire to blame or justify our behaviour by blaming another's behaviour.
It's about recognizing what is within our control and what is beyond. We all have a Circle of Influence, that which we care about and which we can control....ourselves, our choices and our behaviours. We also have a Circle of Concern, that which we care about but do not control: the weather, our pasts, others' behaviours, etc.

An interesting point that Covey also makes is that when we remember our circle of influence and focus on it, it actually enlarges our circle of influence. Our proactive focus When we remember these two things: what our circle of influence is and that we have the freedom to choose, we can step into actions that are more effective and yet still be in the moment.
Now, even if this is common sense, as I've often heard Covey quoted: "common sense isn't always common practice."
So, if I use some common sense, I can live in the moment, and let go of that baggage stuff that can hold me back. I can be proactive in my choices and decisions.
Ah...even common sense is something to practice! I guess I'll practice it moment by moment.

No comments:

Post a Comment