Showing posts with label Non Fiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Non Fiction. Show all posts

Sunday, 31 October 2010

In the Kitchen: Deceptively Delicious

I watched Oprah the other day. Her guest was Jessica Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld's wife, who has just published her second cookbook.

A couple of years ago, I watched her on Oprah when she published her first book. The first book had a number of unique recipes in which she hid all sorts of vegetables. She often purées vegetables and places them in soups, cookies, muffins, etc. and all sorts of other dishes where you wouldn't necessary expect them.


For example, here is a recipe found in her first cookbook Deceptively Delicious. It's for brownies and includes carrot and spinach purée.


Deceptively Delicious Brownies
Cooking spray
3 oz. semisweet or bittersweet chocolate

1/2 c. carrot purée (approx. 1 cup cooked)
1/2 c. spinach purée (approx. 1 packed cup, cooked)
1/2 c. firmly packed brown sugar
1/4 c. unsweetened cocoa powder
2 TBSP soft tub trans-fat free margarine spread
2 tsp. pure vanilla extract
2 large egg whites
3/4 c. flour (oat flour is best - adds another gram of fiber)
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Coat an 8X8 pan with cooking spray.

Melt chocolate in double boiler or over a low flame.
In large bowl, combine melted chocolate, vegetable purees, sugar, cocoa powder, margarine and vanilla and whisk about two minutes until smooth and creamy.
Whisk in egg whites.

Stir in the flour, baking powder, and salt with a wooden spoon.
Pour batter into pan and bake 35-40 minutes. Cool COMPLETELY in the pan before cutting into 12 bars.


Her new book, Double Delicious, was featured on Oprah this week.

These recipes are easy and family friendly. She has a great presence on camera and it is fun to watch her cook. Here is one recipe from her new book, that I found on her website do it delicious


Grilled Chicken Breasts
Ingredients
4 6-ounceboneless, skinless chicken breasts
1  tsp chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
1 tsp chopped fresh thyme
1 tsp chopped fresh rosemary
1 tsp olive oil
1 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1lemon, quartered


Directions
Heat a panini press or grill pan over medium-high heat. Wash and pat dry the chicken. One at a time, place the chicken in a plastic bag and pound to an even 1/4-inch thickness. Remove from the bag and coat both sides of the chicken with the herbs, oil, salt and pepper. Place the chicken in the press (you may be able to cook several at once depending on your press) and cook until cooked through, about 3 minutes. If you use a grill pan your cooking time will be longer.



Helpful Hints:
•Pound with skin-side down; start with thickest part of chicken and move down
•Remove thyme leaves by pulling them off the sprig in the opposite direction they grow
•When chopping you always want to look down and see the top of the knife. Move your pile of herbs close to you for ease, safety and precision


Both of these recipes are from her cookbooks.
 
It was a good show and I have to say the combination of ease and healthy choices in these recipes makes me hungry and want to cook some good food!

Thursday, 7 October 2010

Drive, Daniel Pink

Employee engagement is an interesting study. There are many thoughts out there about what makes us 'tick' in the workplace. Does the generation we belong to affect how we are engaged, or is it just our personality preference?

Daniel Pink has written an interesting book that looks at what motivates and engages employees. His book is a must read for those who are trying to understand what engages employees.

One thing that I have discovered through my own research, is that we all need to be valued and respected as individuals in order to feel engaged. Simple things like being greeted, being thanked, asked their opinion and having their ideas acknowledged are so important. Employee recognition isn't actually the big long service dinner or tea, or even merit awards. While they are nice, they mean little to employees who feel that their day to day accomplishments are ignored. No matter the age, 20 or 60, employees want to feel that they are valued as people.

The problem, is that even with this knowledge, many don't actually know how to value and appreciate their employees. Daniel Pink has a great book to get you thinking.

Saturday, 2 October 2010

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey has been around for more than 25 years. I've heard Stephen Covey speak about this book. (What I write is from memory, not direct quotes) He has said that it came about from his research into the leadership and personal development literature of the last one hundred years. He notes in his talks that up until the mid 1950s or 60s, that these books focussed on the development of character. He noted, however, that by the mid 60s these books began focussing more on personality or even manipulation. This literature focussed more on getting people to do what you want, than to influence through personal integrity and intent.


The book is great, but I must admit what I love most is to be in a session learning its materials. If you ever get a chance to attend a workshop, the videos and participant materials are also amazing.

These are the things that I like so much about The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:
  1. It requires you to think about who you are and what your purpose is.
  2. It asks you to live your purpose and gives you skills to make it a reality.
  3. It allows you to learn how to master your personal development so that you can become more effective with others.
We can all walk around with our own list of values and principles that we say guide us. The proof is in our living of them. This often takes courage. It's not that we are still teens who can submit to peer pressure. However, even adults sometimes get stuck in their concerns about what others think about us.


The test of true character is what we do when no one is watching. Are we able to be the same in moments of stress as we are in moments of ease?

This book really helps you discover what areas of personal leadership you need to develop and helps you to learn how to 'walk your talk.'


While each person is different, learns differently and needs different things, this book is one that can really help anyone. Whether people are leaders of large corporations, or just leading their own lives, there is so much that they can learn from this book. In the end, you need to apply it to yourself and you need to decide how these principles work for you.


Sunday, 26 September 2010

Blink, Malcolm Gladwell


Blink; The Power of Thinking of Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell is New York Times Bestseller. Gladwell was named as Time Magazine's 100 Most Influencial people in 2005 and is a writer for New Yorker magazine . Blink is a book that combines neuroscience and psychology, making it appeal to all sorts of audiences.
"Malcolm Gladwell's fascinating treatise on snap judgments is sure to inspire a following....The writer is in top form in Blink and the reading here is a real pleasure. As in the best of Gladwell's work, Blink brims with surprising insights about our world and ourselves, ideas that you'll have a hard time getting out of your head, you'll itch to share with all of your friends." ~ Farhad Manjoo, Salon
Malcolm Gladwell:
What is Blink about?
It's a book about rapid cognition, about the kind of thinking that happens in a blink of an eye. When you meet someone for the first time, or walk into a house you are thinking of buying, or read the first few sentences of a book, your mind takes about two seconds to jump to a series of conclusions. Well, "Blink" is a book about those two seconds, because I think those instant conclusions that we reach are really powerful and really important and, occasionally, really good


Gladwell's book takes a look at first impressions and how we can use those to become successful decision makers.

It's time for me to explore his other books. I think that The Tipping Point is next.

Thursday, 16 September 2010

The Martian Child, David Gerrold

One weekend my husband recorded a movie that he thought I might like. The movie, Martian Child, starred John Cussack as a recently widowed man who debates going through an adoption that he and his wife had initiated before her death.

In the movie, John Cusack and his newly adopted son, Dennis, work at learning how to live with one another, how to communicate and how to heal their own tender hearts. Dennis believes he is from Mars, hence the title. For Dennis his Martian background is why he has been abandonded by his family. The movie is a lovely story about these two different characters who grow to discover who they are and the family they can make together.


I've bought the book since viewing the movie. The book is just as good. 

David Gerrold is an award winning writer. He won both the Hugo and Nebula Awards for this book. He has also written for Star Trek, Sliders, Babylon 5, and The Twilight Zone. His other novels include The Man Who Folded Himself and When HARLIE Was One. 

The Martian Child, novel is semi-autobiographical. The movie has taken licence and the characters are not the same as in the movie, but they are just as interesting, still capturing your heart.

I don't know which is better, the book or the movie. John Cusack and Bobby Coleman have a wonderful chemistry as father and son. On the other hand, Gerrold's writing is lyrical and really captures the imagination. I guess I'd have to say that this is the case where you want to read the book and watch the movie...even if they are somewhat different.

Monday, 30 August 2010

The Book of Awesome, Neil Pasricha

Neil Pasricha created a blog 1000awesomethings.com. With over 10 million hits and the blog has become a book: The Book of Awesome.

I like the front leaf of the cover: "The Book of Awesome reminds us that the best things inj life are free (yes your grandma was right). With laugh-out-loud observagtions from award-winning comedy writer Neil Pasricha, The Book of Awesome is filled with smile-inducing moments on every page that make you feel like a kid looking at the world for the first time."
I think that says it all.

Here's just one of the awesome things in the book:
"Finally remembering a word that's been on the tip of your tongue for so long.
It's like throwing a pail of cold water on all your smoking inner head parts. Gears unjam, lines start rolling, and you settle back in the restaurant booth with a satisfied smile on your face and just blurt it out. 
"Parcheesi, that's what it was called."


AWESOME!"
Some others:
  • Getting something with actual handwriting on it in the mail.
  • The smell and sound of a campfire.
  • The shampoo head massage you sometimes get at the hairdresser
You get the point. Those everyday happenings that we often fail to appreciate or even notice.


It's a nice book, and it does make you smile!

Monday, 16 August 2010

The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin

Here's a book I'm planning to read. I just ordered it and as soon as it arrives, it's my next read. I've heard about this book from a number of people and it's really sparked my interest. Gretchen Rubin created this book out of her own personal "Happiness Project."

I find her writing really interesting. I am now following her blog titled.... The Happiness Project, and find her regular articles to be good reminders. Lots of times she talks about those things we already know...but need to be reminded about.

I am looking forward to reading the book. I'd love to know if you've read it and what you thought of it!

Wednesday, 11 August 2010

The Barmaid's Brain; and Other Strange Tales from Science; Jay Ingram

Jay Ingram is the co-host of “Daily Planet”, the hour-long prime-time science program on Discovery Channel, which he helped to design and launch 15 years ago. He has worked in almost every mass medium. He hosted CBC’s “Quirks and Quarks” for 12 years, freelanced for CBC’s “Morningside,” and hosted two CBC radio documentary series. He was contributing editor to Owl magazine for five years, he wrote a weekly science column in The Toronto Star for 12 years, and is now involved in web-based shows, outreach events, and podcasts. He has written ten books, and received numerous accolades and awards for his outstanding contributions to the popularization of science. He has received five honorary degrees and was appointed to the Order of Canada in 2009. Bio from The Banff Centre.

A number of years ago, when Ingram was still hosting “Quirks and Quarks,” we began 'collecting' his books. He is a good writer who really gets you interested in unusual scientific facts.

The Barmaid's Brain is a collection of essays about unusual scientific facts and theories written by Jay Ingram.

Psychology Today's website has this short review:
Ever wonder how some waiters remember numerous food orders, without the helpof a memo pad? In The Barmaid's Brain (Freeman, $23.95), Jay Ingram, co-host and producer of @discovery.ca, the Discovery Channel's daily science program, ponders this and many other science mysteries in a series of eminently readable essays. Although the topics cover the full spectrum of science, at least half of them bear directly on psychological puzzles, including why we laugh, the role fungus played in Salem witchcraft, whether or not Joan of Arc was mentally ill, and, yes, even how barmaids remember a dozen orders at a time.
It is simply a fascinating book. This particular book brings a number of historical events into a different light as other possibilites for the events are examined. It also discusses such things as why we laugh, why moths fly to light, the possibility of humans once being aquatic, a discussion on Cystic Fibrosis and other subjects mentioned in the review above.
 
If you ever get a chance, try this book.

Wednesday, 21 July 2010

Man's Search For Meaning, Viktor E. Frankl

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl was first published in 1946. Among the many interesting insights into how people survive in difficult times, Viktor Frankl brought oft quoted words to many leaders of our time. One such quote is:
"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."

Frankl's book was written at first as an anonymous recollection of his time in Auschwitz. He wrote it so that people would never forget what had happened in the death camps. After some prodding he agreed to put his name to the text, and later he would add his writing on Logotherapy, a form of psychotherapy he had developed using his learnings and insights into how people survived and didn't survive the horror of the torture of the camps.

For Frankl, his survival came when he realized that they couldn't take away his ability to choose how he saw himself and how he interpreted what was happening to him. As he was suffering numerous medical experiments he chose to remove himself from the pain and instead imagine himself lecturing to his own medical students back at the university. In that moment he became the one in control of his response. His ability to choose his response gave him the ability to survive, to live to tell his story.

Friday, 9 July 2010

The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz

A number of years ago I found the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Published in 1997, this small book is a great wake-up call and reminder for those of us who get stuck in old ways of thinking or in accepting other people's truths rather than our own. Really, anyone even those who are well-adjusted find great insights and pieces of wisdom in this book. 

Ruiz's books are based on ancient Toltec wisdom and in the traditions of the Toltec a nagual (shaman) guides an individual to personal freedom. Ruiz is a nagual from the Eagle Knight lineage and he has dedicated his life to sharing the wisdom of the ancient Toltec.
My husband has also read all of his books and is a real fan. If you get a chance, you may want to try one.

Sunday, 4 July 2010

How Full is Your Bucket?

The Theory of the Dipper and the Bucket
"Each of us has an invisible bucket. It is constantly emptied of filled, depending on what others say or do to us. When our bucket is full, we feel great. When it's empty, we feel awful.
Each of us also has an invisible dipper. When we use that dipper to fill other people's buckets - by saying or doing things to increase their positive emotions - we also fill our own bucket. But when we use that dipper to dip from others' buckets - by saying or doing thints that decrease their positive emotions - we diminish ourselves." How Full is Your Bucket (p. 5)
These are the first parapraphs of How Full is Your Bucket written by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton Phd. This grandson and grandfather duo, both Gallup researchers and leaders take an interesting look at positivity and its connection to relationships, both personal and professional, as well as to productivity. The book also touches on customer service and most importantly it spends a great deal of time in discussion about employee recognition and engagement. In fact, this is the sort of book that would be really interesting to give to a management team if you were starting them on a recognition program. It provides a good rationale for employee recognition and then it provides some suggestions for getting started.

I'm not a total fan of their "drops," approach, however, as I can see it having the potential to become a bit trite. I can see certain managers overusing these, withouth really grasping their value. I can also see employees seeing them as impersonal after awhile, if managers relied on only this approach.

Certainly Rath and Clifton express the philosophy that "positivity must be grounded in reality." (p. 45) They also cite that "More than 13 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction could decrease productivity." (p. 44) The issue to me is that managers could really buy into employee recognition, without understanding the whole picture. They would really need to be willing to learn about it from all aspects and then to practice it.

In any case, the book is a good start to understanding why employee recognition is so necessary in the workplace, how positivity creates productivity, and how to build positive emotions; all great for building personal and workplace relationships.

Saturday, 3 July 2010

Night, Elie Wiesel


When I taught Grade 12 English I had the good fortune to be introduced
to the works of the author Elie Wiesel. Night is Wiesel's memories of Auschwitz and later another concentration camp, Buchenwald. He entered the Auschwitz at age 12. He and his father were immediately separated from his mother and sisters. Before the war was over his father became ill and died. He watched fellow prisoners tortured and killed. His faith in God and humanity was challenged when he was
imprisoned in the camps. 
Elie Wiesel won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1986 for his championing of human rights around the world. In the fall I saw him on Oprah. It was a two-part show. In the first part, he returned to Auschwitz for the first time since the war and showed the camp to Oprah. In the second show, he and Oprah were in Chicago. There he and Oprah talked to students from all over the country who had entered essays into a contest the show was holding. Their essays had to be about difficulties they had faced because of their religions and/or race. Many of the students were refugees who had incredible stories to tell.

Elie Weisel's book, Night, is a very interesting and important read. His memories of his experiences are touching and thought-provoking. Every once in awhile someone will say they have read enough stories about WWII, or they have seen enough movies. I don't know if I have. I don't know if there are enough stories, especially not the true ones. These are the ones that are the most important ones. These are the ones that need to be seen and heard, the ones that need to be remembered. Time is passing and the survivors are getting older. Memories are fading, there are children and unfortunately adults who do not even know what the holocaust was. It is so important to know what really happened, and for each generation that comes to know as well. And for all of us to know of similar crimes on humanity so that somehow we may begin to make certain that they never occur again.

The attached video is Elie Weisel giving a speech "The World is Not Learning Anything" presented by the Nobelprize.org.

Saturday, 26 June 2010

A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle's book, A New Earth is a great read, despite all of its hype. I say that because I have friends who purposely shied away from it for the very reason that it found its way on to Oprah's Book Club list. I tried the book for two reasons, first of all friends had found it to be a good read, secondly I had read and enjoyed another of Tolle's books, The Power of Now, a number of years before. Regardless of why, I simply like the book because of the fact that it makes me think. The very beginning of the book captured my imagination and it continues to stay with me.
Those opening paragraphs are such a different way of looking at our world. Evolution and the big bang doesn't get you to think about the birth of a flower. Neither does Genesis and the seven days. Tolle's paragraphs inspired my imagination and allowed me to think of the world we live in, in a very new way. And those were only the first two pages.
Earth, 114 million years ago, one morning just after sunrise: The first flower ever to appear on the planet opens up to receive the rays of the sun. Prior to this momentous event that heralds an evolutionary transformation in the life of plants, the planet had already been covered in vegetation for millions of years. The first flower probably did not survive for long, and flowers must have remained rare and isolated phenomena, ...
Seeing beauty in a flower could awaken humans, however briefly, to the beauty that is an essential part of their own innermost being, their true nature... (1-2)

In the following video, Tolle discusses his book and how he named it A New Earth.
 
If you've never read it, consider doing so, it's a very thought provoking book.

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Leadership and Self-Deception, Arbinger Institute

Leadership and Self-Deception is a book that I cannot recommend enough. This is a book that was written in a fable style. What I like most, is that it is not just about what people consider as traditional leadership. Such as leadership in business. This is about leadership in life. It is about leadership in business, but it is also about leading a family, leading in community, and leading your own personal life.
The Arbinger Institue is the author of this book and their illustration of what self-deception means is insightful and very easy to understand.
I've written a great deal more about this book on the Life on Purpose page, as I reviewed it for a night class I was taking. I have also referenced it in a longer post on that same page in a discussion on authenticity.
It is a book that my sister originally recommended to me. It really challenges me to think differently. I cannot recommend it enough.

Saturday, 10 April 2010

Authentic Leadership

Authentic Leadership: Rediscovering the Secrets to Creating Lasting Value, by Bill George is a great book on leadership. George's own experiences as a Chairman and CEO are used as he delves into his views and thoughts about leadership.
What makes this book really enjoyable is that it isn’t a prescriptive book that tells you HOW to be. Rather, George sets the groundwork for individuals to examine their own lives, challenging them to accept the challenge to embrace their own authenticity. George states: “Authentic leaders genuinely desire to serve others through their leadership. They are more interested in empowering the people they lead to make a difference than they are in power, money, or prestige for themselves. They are guided by qualities of the heart, by passion and compassion, as they are by qualities of the mind.” (George, 1989, p. 12)
In Authentic Leadership, George identifies five dimensions of leadership: purpose, values, relationships, self-discipline, and heart. Leaders, George asserts in the first dimension, must “understand their purpose.” (George, 1989, p. 19) The understanding of one’s own purpose is the foundation of authentic leadership and, I would suggest, authenticity. Purpose is the understanding of self and what intrinsically motivates. It is this knowledge that not only creates purpose, but passion for that purpose. For a consultant or a leader it is that passion which inspires and motivates others to follow, to listen, and to be influenced.
The second dimension which George identifies is values. Authentic leaders, George asserts, are those who are “true to your [their] values.” (George, 1989, p. 37) Those who are authentic not only know what their values are, they also live them. Those who are authentic have had their values tested through their various experiences and their values and behaviours have been congruent within those challenges. George also states that when people are authentic and they live their values they are demonstrating “integrity in action.”
Developing compassion is the third dimension of authenticity in George’s book. George stresses the need to “develop our hearts…Through the connections formed through personal sharing, people are inspired to believe in their leaders and follow them.” (George, 1989, pp. 39 – 40) These statements bring us back to Block’s own words at our class: “Authenticity is putting into words what we are feeling in the moment.”
The fourth dimension of authenticity described by George is to have connected relationships. Simply put, George states that “Leaders who are open with people, even when sharing bad news or offering critical feedback, establish that sense of connection that builds commitment.” (George, 1989, pp. 40-41) That connection, asserts George is the authentic quality of the relationship. It is authenticity in action.
The final dimension of authenticity, for George, is practicing self-discipline. As George states, “To be authentic, leaders must behave with consistency and self-discipline, not letting stress get in the way of their judgment.” (George, 1989, p. 41) Consistent self-discipline is also about the living of your values, principles, purpose, etc. Simply put, it is ‘walking your talk.’ While easy to state, it is probably the most difficult aspect of authenticity, and the most necessary.
George also clarifies that self-discipline is about all of our behaviours. He asserts that self-discipline includes the need for balance and the ability to de-stress. These are also critical to the authentic leader, as they also create healthy leadership. I believe this added dimension really speaks to authenticity. It requires you to be honest with yourself, not just others. It asks you to set boundaries and to really understand your own personal needs.
While these dimensions absolutely point to authenticity, in the end it is really about how a person lives them. Authenticity asks if these aspects are evident in the person. I think the presence of these traits is the true measure of authenticity. The mark of the authentic person, then, is in how they show up in the world. Living these qualities with true strength of character, vulnerability and integrity, is what makes a person authentic.

George, Bill. Authentic Leadership: Rediscovering the Secrets to Creating lasting Value. San Fransisco: Jossey-Bass, 2003.

Leading From the Inside Out

“Leadership is authentic self-expression that creates values...Anyone who is authentically self-expressing and creating value is leading.” Leading from the Inside Out: Becoming a Leader for Life (video) by Kevin Cashman explores the journey a leader must take to find her own personal purpose. With the determination of personal purpose a leader develops from the inside to become an authentic leader.
Cashman's book challenges readers to examine what guides their behaviours; their persona or their character. Those guided by persona, argues Cashman, make their choices in order to preserve image and control, self-interest, the desire to win at all costs, resistance to change, and other negative attributes. Whereas those guided by character make their choices based on their purpose, being open, and display trust, compassion, courage, inclusion, and adaptability. The essence of character, Cashman suggests, comes from deep within ourselves. Cashman's observations of leaders has brought him to the conclusion that there are seven pathways required to build leadership:
Pathway One: Personal Mastery, is leading through authentic self-expression. It is the ability to live with integrity, and to have congruence between who we are and what we do. Authentic self-expression is speaking from our character, and allowing us to create trust, synergy and connection with everyone around us.
Pathway Two: Purpose Mastery, is leading by expressing our gifts to create value. In this pathway, Cashman explores purpose. A leader who knows his purpose will live with character and know his direction.
Pathway Three: Interpersonal Mastery, is leading through synergy and service. Synergy and service are used in this pathway, as relationship building is examined with a view to authenticity. In terms of sevice, Cashman suggests that “Ultimately, a leader is not judged by how well he or she leads, but how well he or she serves.” (Cashman, p. 110)
Pathway Four: Change Mastery, is leading with agility. The leader who leads with character is adaptable and open. Stephen Covey has said that there are only three constants in life: Change, Choice and Character. Cashman challenges a leader to maintain personal values and principles of character when adapting to change.
Pathway Five: Resilience Mastery, is leading with mastery. It is the ability to choose activities that build energy to continue being a quality leader, rather than choosing activities that diminish energy and leave one unbalanced.
Pathway Six: Being Mastery, is leading with presence. This pathway requires continuous development and self-awareness.
Pathway Seven: Action Mastery, is leading through coaching. It is about building awareness, commitment, and practices for coaching self and others. It is a challenge to capitalize on potential, both inside and out.
Cashman challenges readers to “Commit to the lifelong process of authentically growing as a person in order to grow as a leader.” The book is written with suggestions for practice and questions to consider.
Cashman, Kevin. Leadership From the Inside Out: Becoming a Leader for Life. Minneapolis: TCLG, IIc, 1998

Friday, 9 April 2010

Leadership and Self-Deception

The Arbinger Insititute's book: Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box is a wonderful book.
The title word, “leadership” shouldn’t mislead the reader into assuming that the book is only for a title leader. Truly, this is a book for anyone; anyone who leads her own life...which is, of course everyone.
What if you discovered that the reason you were frustrated or unhappy with someone was related very much to your actual perceptions and the way you responded to them
What if you examined your annoyance with someone and you discovered that you were actually exacerbating and continuing the problem?
What if you remembered that you truly have the most influence over your own behaviours and perceptions and you took responsibilty for those?
If you were able to manage that, you would be on your way to moving out of self-deception.
I know that this book has become a checkpoint for my own self-awareness and growth. Each time I practice its tenets I improve relationships. I am happier and better for it.
Written in a fable style, this book provides insight into a way of being that revolutionizes relationships and personal growth and development. It is also a book that is quick to read. This is good, because there really isn't any way to do it justice without saying, Read It! You'll like it.
Arbinger Institute, The. Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box. San Fransisco. Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc. 2000.