How Full is Your Bucket?

The Theory of the Dipper and the Bucket
"Each of us has an invisible bucket. It is constantly emptied of filled, depending on what others say or do to us. When our bucket is full, we feel great. When it's empty, we feel awful.
Each of us also has an invisible dipper. When we use that dipper to fill other people's buckets - by saying or doing things to increase their positive emotions - we also fill our own bucket. But when we use that dipper to dip from others' buckets - by saying or doing thints that decrease their positive emotions - we diminish ourselves." How Full is Your Bucket (p. 5)

These are the first parapraphs of How Full is Your Bucket written by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton Phd. This grandson and grandfather duo, both Gallup researchers and leaders take an interesting look at positivity and its connection to relationships, both personal and professional, as well as to productivity. The book also touches on customer service and most importantly it spends a great deal of time in discussion about employee recognition and engagement. In fact, this is the sort of book that would be really interesting to give to a management team if you were starting them on a recognition program. It provides a good rationale for employee recognition and then it provides some suggestions for getting started.

I'm not a total fan of their "drops," approach, however, as I can see it having the potential to become a bit trite. I can see certain managers overusing these, withouth really grasping their value. I can also see employees seeing them as impersonal after awhile, if managers relied on only this approach.

Certainly Rath and Clifton express the philosophy that "positivity must be grounded in reality." (p. 45) They also cite that "More than 13 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction could decrease productivity." (p. 44) The issue to me is that managers could really buy into employee recognition, without understanding the whole picture. They would really need to be willing to learn about it from all aspects and then to practice it.

In any case, the book is a good start to understanding why employee recognition is so necessary in the workplace, how positivity creates productivity, and how to build positive emotions; all great for building personal and workplace relationships.

Chocolate in New York

I am a lover of chocolate. I found it in a few places in New York.

There was the M&M store. It had lots of music and flash, jewelry made out of their packaging and of course, chocolate.

The Hershey's store was fun, with shirts, cups and more chocolates. We spent the most time there, getting a bucket filled with Hershey kisses, a specially wrapped chocolate bar for dad, and sister R pretended to down a huge bottle of chocolate syrup.

I also found an amazing chocolate store just on Rockefeller Plaza one morning when I was out by myself: La Maison Du Chocolat.

Almost all of the chocolate I brought home was eaten by my husband within the week. I did eat some, too, but I should have hidden some, because I think he thought it was all for him!

Stress Reduction Part IV

This post continues Jon Kabat-Zinn's stress reduction series with part four.

"There are very few certainties that touch us all in this mortal experience, but one of the absolutes is that we will experience hardship and stress at some point.” ~ Dr. James C. Dobson

Night, Elie Wiesel

When I taught Grade 12 English I had the good fortune to be introduced
to the works of the author Elie Wiesel. Night is Wiesel's memories of Auschwitz and later another concentration camp, Buchenwald. He entered the Auschwitz at age 12. He and his father were immediately separated from his mother and sisters. Before the war was over his father became ill and died. He watched fellow prisoners tortured and killed. His faith in God and humanity was challenged when he was
imprisoned in the camps. 
Elie Wiesel won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1986 for his championing of human rights around the world. In the fall I saw him on Oprah. It was a two-part show. In the first part, he returned to Auschwitz for the first time since the war and showed the camp to Oprah. In the second show, he and Oprah were in Chicago. There he and Oprah talked to students from all over the country who had entered essays into a contest the show was holding. Their essays had to be about difficulties they had faced because of their religions and/or race. Many of the students were refugees who had incredible stories to tell.

Elie Weisel's book, Night, is a very interesting and important read. His memories of his experiences are touching and thought-provoking. Every once in awhile someone will say they have read enough stories about WWII, or they have seen enough movies. I don't know if I have. I don't know if there are enough stories, especially not the true ones. These are the ones that are the most important ones. These are the ones that need to be seen and heard, the ones that need to be remembered. Time is passing and the survivors are getting older. Memories are fading, there are children and unfortunately adults who do not even know what the holocaust was. It is so important to know what really happened, and for each generation that comes to know as well. And for all of us to know of similar crimes on humanity so that somehow we may begin to make certain that they never occur again.

The attached video is Elie Weisel giving a speech "The World is Not Learning Anything" presented by the Nobelprize.org.

Stress Reduction Part III

"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn

Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. ~Chinese Proverb

Cabs in New York

Getting around in the various cities I've visited have usually involved catching the metro, the subway, the train, or a bus. I've rarely caught a cab even in my own city. It's not that I don't think they are a good form of transportation, it's just that they're not my first choice. I've often found them to be dirty, somewhat smelly, and uncomfortable. They can also be expensive. I've also heard travel stories from others stating that they've been taken advantage of.

No one wants to be a naive tourist. We want to appear worldly and knowledgeable. We certainly don’t want to be taken advantage of, but if we don’t have the experience or insight, we don’t know what to say.

All of our cab experiences in New York were very good. My sisters drive to the hotel from the airport was very unusual, but good. Their cab had a flat tire so there was a detour to the garage. My youngest sister, R, who rivals anyone for cleanest house in town claimed that you could eat off of the floor it was so spotless. My middle sister, P, loves to garden so she liked the plants. They took lots of pictures. This is the taxi company's garage the cabbie took them to so he could have his tire fixed.

The trip took them a bit out of the way and had mom and I wondering if they’d gotten lost, but it didn’t add to their cab fare and it made for an interesting welcome to New York City.

Change

“It’s not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” ~ Charles Darwin