Actve Listening and Thoughtful Speaking

Seek First to Understand .... Then to Be Understood

Formulating our responses as people talk can limit our actual understanding of their message. Listening with the intent to understand, not with the intent to reply, allows us to be active listeners. We can determine our responses after we’ve heard the message. This also eliminates most misunderstandings.

WAIT!

Before you speak, ask:

Why

Am

I

Talking?

Active Listening

• Listening is as important as speaking.
• Pay attention to what is being said and how it is being said
• Show that you are listening by reflecting what is being said, using nonverbal responses.
• Ask questions to clarify or summarize what has been said
• Do not interrupt unless the conversation has turned into a monologue
• Get rid of your hidden agendas. They’ll keep you focused on how to convince people, rather than listening.
• Check your assumptions
• Practice Active Listening

Thoughtful Speaking

• Acknowledge the need to meet other people’s communication needs.
• How do they need to hear your message?
• Notice how others speak
• Adapt your language and style to maximize understanding
• Acknowledge their personality preferences
• Know your audience:
• What is the best way to share your message with them?
• What do they need to know?
• If the message is not understood, the communicator needs to reframe the message
• Practice Thoughtful Speaking

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,  by Stephen R. Covey, gives some great advice and practice in Habit 5, for communicationn skills.

Simplifying

First there was one blog, then there were two...then there were five. Talk about going overboard! It would be fine if I had lots of time to keep up with all of them.


So, it's back to two blogs.


Life's Lessons now has my books, recipes, diet, and travel stuff all posted on the same page. Having different blogs to categorize the various things I like to write about was good in theory, but difficult to keep up and still have a life that also happens so that there is something to write about! This page will have ALL of my Life's Lessons!

 

I'm still going to have the Life on Purpose page for the things I learn and read about Leadership.


I'm simplifying...


(The other blog pages will be closed for good by November 30, 2010.)

Vision

"Nothing can add more power to your life than concentrating all of your energies on a limited set of targets." ~ Nibo Qubein

Island, Alistair MacLeod

Born in North Battleford Saskatchewan, Alistair MacLeod moved to Dunvegan, Inverness County on Nova Scotia's Cape Breton Island when he was 10.


A specialist in British literature of the nineteenth century, MacLeod taught English for three years at Indiana University before becoming a professor of English and creative writing at the University of Windsor. Now retired, MacLeod lives on Cape Breton Island in the summer, where he spends part of his time "writing in a cliff-top cabin looking west towards Prince Edward Island."


MacLeod's stories focus on the "complexities and abiding mysteries at the heart of human relationships...Eloquent, humane, life-affirming, the stories in this astonishing collection seize us from the outset and remain with us long after the final page." (from the back cover)

Of the 14 stories in Island, I don't have a preference; I find them all interesting and unique.

I am really drawn to the work of Canadian writers, particularly those who write short stories. I find the depth of humanity and feeling that they explore in their short pieces to be intense and interesting. MacLeod is an author that lives up to the expectations I have of Canadian writers.

Muhammad Yunus

It seems that many North Americans do not know of Muhammad Yunus and his work. The winner of many awards, most notably the Nobel Prize in 2006, Bangladeshi Muhammad Yunnus founded the Grameen Bank.

The Grameen Bank is a wonderful example of how basic paradigms can be shifted to create some very basic, yet amazing changes in our world. What if banks lended small amounts of money, to help people get ahead? The Grameen Bank does just that.

The following article can be found at  http://publications.mcgill.ca/reporter/2010/10/banking-on-the-poor-nobel-laureate-muhammad-yunus-delivers-beatty-lecture/  

Banking on the poor: Nobel laureate Muhammad Yunus delivers Beatty Lecture

$27: How much it took for one professor of economics to change the world

By Tamarah Feder

Since the early 1970s, Dr. Muhammad Yunus has been making the world a better place for millions living in dire poverty but who possess an entrepreneurial drive. The 2006 Nobel Peace Prize Laureate pioneered a micro-credit banking system that provides loans to the most deprived, creating opportunities for self-employment and a way out of an endless cycle of poverty and despair.

Delivering this year's Beatty Memorial Lecture, Yunus recounted how he went from being a professor of economics to founder of the Grameen Bank - a major employer and business partner and, ultimately, a game-changer in how we perceive the potential of the most economically and socially disadvantaged.


"I had no idea I would get involved in anything to do with lending money," he said, attributing his career-path change to external forces following his return to poverty-stricken and famine-ravaged Bangladesh from teaching in the United States.


"When you teach economics with lots of enthusiasm and feel totally confident about the validity of what you are teaching and then you walk out of the classroom and see famine all around the country, you start questioning yourself. You feel useless in the face of dire emergency, so out of this emptiness you try to come up with something."

Yunus walked out of the campus and into the villages, "to see if I could make myself useful to just one person, even for one day." The villages of Bangladesh became his university. He witnessed the devastating effects of loan-sharking on the poor. "I couldn't believe people had to suffer so much for so little!" He saw a simple, immediate remedy. "Why don't I just loan them $27? [the total amount owed by 42 individuals]" No interest rates, no payment deadlines. He paid off loan sharks and loaned money to the villagers. They called him an angel. Bemused, he realized, "for just $27! With just a bit more I could become a super angel!"

From there the seed was sown for what has turned into the first and largest micro-credit bank and social business enterprise. Grameen Bank and its subsidiary businesses help millions of the world's most disenfranchised launch their own businesses and find empowerment.
Dismissed and berated by banks, economists and government officials, Yunus sought to persuade naysayers that we are all born with entrepreneurial potential. He wondered, "Why call economics a social science if we remove humans from the equation?"

When banks pushed aside his request to provide tiny loans to villagers and beggars, he offered to serve as guarantor. The banks relented. When the loans were repaid, the loan requests grew. The banks grew nervous and shut the door. Undeterred, Yunus set about changing the laws and establishing a bank more in keeping with his goals to alleviate poverty.

Recipients of Grameen Bank loans had to change their self-perceptions, too. Women had been accustomed to deferring to their husbands on money matters and husbands were concerned about taking on responsibility for their wives should they default. Yunus assured them Grameen would never go after them. Borrowers would pay when they could. And then they could borrow again.

Responding to concerns from some that giving money to women was contrary to Islamic law, Yunus pointed out that after working for her, "the Prophet Mohammed married a businesswoman." He said, "If you want to be a good Muslim you have to follow in the footsteps of the prophet and marry a businesswoman. And if you can't find one, come to us!"

To the business challenges he faced, Yunus had business solutions. He built solar-powered homes that people could purchase through a Grameen loan. When importing solar panels was cost-prohibitive, Yunus opened a solar-panel business.

Grameen has established several business partnerships that serve double duty - employing villagers and addressing health issues. Grameen Danone provides nutrient-rich yogurt for children that villagers can sell. He convinced Adidas to create an affordable shoe - "less than a Euro" - to protect citizens from injuries and infections.
Today the Grameen bank has more than 8 million borrowers in more than 80,000 villages in Bangladesh. Almost all are women. Grameen's repayment rate is 97 per cent. They've also set up shop in Glasgow, Scotland, and the Borough of Queens in New York City.

And if all that were not enough, Yunus was featured on The Simpson's recently, at which point one of his daughters told the Nobel prizewinner: "You've finally made it."


McGill has signed a memorandum of understanding to work with Yunus to promote social business and for it to become one of the strategic models for change implemented by the McGill World Platform for Health and Economic Management, a joint initiative led by McGill's Desautels Faculty of Management and the Faculty of Medicine as part of its knowledge-to-action activities.


Alexa Roland, an undergraduate studying International Development and Environmental Studies, was inspired met Yunus at a private lunch with students. "I want to follow that path to alleviate poverty and inequality. We talked about incorporating social business into our curriculum. I responded to his humanity and that he's taking a chance in business. To properly understand international development, I need to understand every perspective, so I'm taking some business courses as electives. A lot of good ideas and policies don't work because we can't communicate with businesses." 

That Yunus won a Nobel Prize for his work, adds to the wonderfulness of this story and his work.

The following two videos give more information about Yunus and his work:

Video 1 (click on link to be redirected) This video is a preview of one used in Franklin Covey Leadership courses. It gives a short glimpse of Yunus's work.

Video 2: Muhammad Yunus - The Social Business Model, which comes from the Yunus Centre's website is linked below

Leadership

"True leadership must be for the benefit of the followers, not the enrichment of the leaders." ~ Robert Townsend

Pajama Day

Did you ever stay in your pajamas all day?

I am in need of a pajama day. I've had a crazy week and the thought of lounging around in comfy my comfy pjs and reading a good book or watching a movie is something I've looked forward to all week.

I thought I'd see if anyone else has ever posted about wearing pajamas all day. This is what I found:

On 1000 Awsome Things  #554 is Staying in your pajamas all day. This site always has great things and staying in your pajamas all day is truly awesome!

There are lots of sites with discussion about why stay at home moms shouldn't wear their pajamas all day. But, for me, that's a debate for another day. I'm not interested in wearing my pajamas all day, every day...just sometimes on weekends especially after long weeks. It's best in the dead of winter, but I'll take a fall day like tomorrow.

Some schools have pajama days. I remember my kids enjoying those days when they could wear their sleepwear to school. There's something so cozy and comfy about lounge wear.

Since I am having this great dream about wearing my pajamas all day, tomorrow and writing this post, I thought I'd find out some more things about pajamas.

On Wilkepedia they have some info about pajamas:

"Pajamas, also spelled pyjamas can refer to several related types of clothing. The original paijama are loose, lightweight trousers fitted with drawstring waistbands and worn in South and West Asia by both sexes. In many English-speaking nations, pajamas are loose-fitting, two-piece garments derived from the original garment and worn chiefly for sleeping, but sometimes also for lounging, also by both sexes. More generally, pajamas may refer to several garments, for both daywear and nightwear, derived from traditional pajamas and involving variations of style and material.

The word "pyjama" is a variant of "pajama" which was incorporated into the English language during British Raj from Hindustani (the progenitor language of modern-day Urdu and Hindi). This word originally derives from the Persian word Peyjama meaning "foot garment"."

I'm not prepared to be Hugh Hefner or someone else who wears pajamas every day all day.

BUT...Tomorrow is pajama day for me!